WORD VOMIT | if I hear the word squad one more time

We’re heading towards the end of 2016, and the one word that I sincerely hope we can leave behind in 2016 is the word “squad”. I know I know, unpopular opinion, but hear me out.

I don’t know about you, but the first time I ever heard the word squad was in reference to Tswizzle’s gang of girls in VMA or Billboard or whatever award show it was back in 2015 I believe, at the time, I thought to myself, damn, that is such a cool group of girls, good for them. And then time passed on, and the term started bombarding popular culture and social media, everyone had their squad, and everyone wanted everyone else to know about it.

And that’s when my frustration began. Why do you need a squad? How many people do you need in a squad? Maybe it’s just me, but I just feel like having a squad requires at least 5+ people, and to a lot of people, that’s just impossible. I know personally, all the friends I have made have been pretty much one on one, as in we wouldn’t really have that many mutual friends, or we would, but they’d mostly be acquaintances, and we would never really have a “squad” that we would hang out with day in day out. Don’t get me wrong, I do know people that do, but then again, I always question the sincerity and bond those larger groups have. Sure, you can go out with them every now and then, but when something terrible happens in your life, how many people in your “squad” will be there for you?

Maybe I’m just overthinking this whole thing, as per usual, but I feel as though “squad” just put some unnecessary added pressure onto the expectations society already places on us, we have to be hard working, we have to be doing something with our lives, we have to be happy, we have to have a “squad”, for us to be seen as a fully-functioning individual in the 21st century. There are so many things that’s wrong with that mentality, but that’s a whole other thing.

I have friends (wow did I really just say that), but I don’t see them as my “squad”, they’re people that I connect with, my companions, the ones I care about and the ones that care about me, and squad just diminishes all the feelings I have towards them.

I don’t know if I’m the only that feels this way about “squad”, but surely not, no man’s an island. But hey, if I am, then so be it, I don’t need a “squad” to agree with me anyway.

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WORD VOMIT | insecurities and what not.

This is going to be literally just a ramble of my thoughts, because I feel like this is an issue that’s on my mind lately, for whatever reason.

What do people feel insecure about? It could be something obvious; how they look, their social status, or economic status.That’s obviously a generalisation, but basically, it’s something about themselves that they feel like is not up to a certain standard held by society. The solution may seem simple, improve yourself, particularly in areas you feel are lacking. But here lies the paradigm, people usually prefer to do things that they’re good at, leading to an improvement in that area, however, if a person is naturally bad at maths, for example, then they’re less likely to want to study maths, and therefore will stay bad with numbers forever. Again, another generalisation.

It is definitely a thing that needs to be changed systematically, and those are the hardest changes to make. As a society, we don’t want to be told we’re doing something wrong, it’s much easier to pick on the flaws of individuals. That way, only those who are “flawed” needs to change.

I can’t say that I’m not insecure about certain things about myself, but I think the important thing is to realise that whether your insecurity is actually something that matters to you, in the sense that you want to improve in that area, or if it’s simply something that everyone else considers to be important, yet it doesn’t make a single difference to you personally.

We are always trying to be a better version of ourselves, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, there is definitely a difference between personal growth, and just feeling crap about yourself constantly on something you can’t change, not so much in the actual sense, but more that it really doesn’t bother you to the extent that you are willing to do something about it.

 

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wish I could come to some profound understanding, and suggest a solution for it all, but there really isn’t one magical solution. There are a few things, that may have been said before, but for whatever reason, are yet to be put in actions by a majority of us. And if one person that happens to be reading this find my suggestions useful, then that’s enough for me.

1. Realise that social media is a lie, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I don’t think many of us are naive enough to believe that those rosy photoshopped images of fitness girls, or perfectly flaylay-ed, colour-themed photos of “daily essentials” are the reality that some people live in. Everyone wants the world to think that they’re living the dream life, and social media is just an outlet for that.

2. Find what makes you happy, not what society makes you think you need to be happy. Happiness is such a vague concept, and my understanding of what it is to be happy is constantly changing. What brings you true happiness though? Once you find that out, I think you’ll be a lot less harsh on yourself.

3. Understand that everyone has their own struggles. This kind of goes along with #1. No one is going to spill all their deep dark secrets and insecurities to you when you’ve just met, in fact, some people might never feel comfortable enough to share those things.

Hmm I think that’s the top three most important things, and once you’re able to change your mindset about those, it will literally change the way you perceive yourself, others, and society.

I know this is quite a sensitive topic, but that’s my two cents on it. I hope that you feel somewhat uplifted after reading this, if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email and I’ll try my best to help! 🙂